Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
