dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
