Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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