I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
