Can i not drive my cunt home
and she was petting her beer can
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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