just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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