I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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