STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
God, I missed his penis.
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