I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
