..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
