when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
