I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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