i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize