Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
