ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
