I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I currently don't understand fingers.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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