3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
