my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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