and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
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Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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