Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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