she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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