I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
