I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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