weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
