Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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