she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
BRING THE BAGELS
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
