He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
