dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
