giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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