I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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