the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
