I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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