I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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