Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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