Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
