also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize