i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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