he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
