yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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