So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
