Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
