i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
