the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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