hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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