Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Michael Bay diarrhea
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
