It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
