What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
