just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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