Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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