You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
