like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
