I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
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She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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