I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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