my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
