would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize