idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The power of my boobs compel you
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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