This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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