What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
