Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
