I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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