i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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