At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
worst night to have a conscience
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
