yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
