Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
