That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you win again, gameday.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
