whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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