Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
