he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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