I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize